Monday, July 31, 2017

Star Wars Scenes We'd Like to See

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.
(Tip o’ th’ hat to Art Bell)

Vader:          Join me, Luke!  Together we shall rule the Galaxy as father and son. It is your destiny.

Luke:            You said that the last time! Why don’t you join me so we can work together to restore freedom to the Galaxy?  You were chosen to do this.

Vader:          What do you mean, son?

Luke:            Search your feelings, Father. You know this to be true.

Palpatine:    Don’t go into the light. It’s a trick!

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.
(Tip o’ th’ hat to How It ShouldHave Ended on YouTube)

[The Emperor is about to unleash Force Lightning upon Luke Skywalker.]

Vader:           [Butting in] You said I killed Padme’ in my anger! Yet she bore me twins!

Palpatine:     She lost the will to live—so it’s true from a certain point of view.

Vader:           You LIED to me! I’ll KILL you!!

[Vader tackles Palpatine and the two fly out of view. Luke looks at the camera and shrugs as Force Lightning runs across the scene behind him.]

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

Now what was Vader thinking when Emperor Palpatine was unleashing Force Lightning upon poor Luke as he cries out, “Father! Help me!”?

I think it would have been something like this:

He’s killing my son; my daughter’ll be next! When he said I killed Padme’ in my anger, he lied—he lied to me! … I may not save my son, but I have to protect my daughter!

If George Lucas wanted to put something in the Special Edition to reflect on Vader’s state of mind, he should have included Vader’s thoughts, something like the above, instead of the insipid “No-o-o! NO-O-o-o-o-o!” that he actually put in there, which was derivative of the most insipid part of the final scene in Revenge of the Sith. (Did I tell you that the prequels suck? No? Well they do!)

In the Cantina in Star Wars.

Greedo:         … e leni ta crento oatka. Ta oaska! [Caption: That’s the idea. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.]

Han:             Yeah. I’ll bet you have!

[Han shoots poor Greedo before he has time to react. As he is frying, Han walks out, tossing a hefty silver coin at the barkeep. The barkeep catches it.]

Han:             Sorry about the mess.

Yes, I know this is the same as the scene as enacted in the 1977 Original.  But in 1997, what George Lucas went ahead and did was digitally reedit the scene so that Greedo shoots first. Greedo’s shot is directed so that he would miss hitting Han no matter what, but that wasn’t enough for George Lucas. He had Han’s whole upper body: torso, neck and head, tilt to the right (viewer’s left) in one jerky, neck-breaking movement, and then jerk back again. It looks like a department store dummy, and just stops the film right there. And in a perfect beat timing to Haddaway’sWhat is Love? . Of course this all reminds me of SNL’s sketch that inspired the film A Night at the Roxbury! (Tip o’ th’ hat to Hello Greedo on YouTube.) Newest Star Wars viewers are lucky in that in 2011 George Lucas hid this by cutting ten frames out of the action so that Greedo and Han fire almost at once. But those who saw the 1997 and 2004 versions had to suffer through this!

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