Star Wars scenes we'd like to see

On Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back.

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

(Tip o’ th’ hat to Art Bell)

Vader:          Join me, Luke!  Together we shall rule the Galaxy as father and son. It is your destiny.

Luke:            You said that the last time! Why don’t you join me so we can work together to restore freedom to the Galaxy?  You were chosen to do this.

Vader:           What do you mean, son?

Luke:             Search your feelings, Father. You know this to be true.

Palpatine:     Don’t go into the light. It’s a trick!

On the Millenium Falcon in Star Wars.

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

(Tip o’ th’ hat to How It ShouldHave Ended on YouTube)

[The Emperor is about to unleash Force Lightning upon Luke Skywalker.]

Vader:          [Butting in] You said I killed Padme’ in my anger! Yet she bore me twins!

Palpatine:     She lost the will to live—so it’s true from a certain point of view.

Vader:           You LIED to me! I’ll KILL you!!

[Vader tackles Palpatine and the two fly out of view. Luke looks at the camera and shrugs as Force Lightning runs across the scene behind him.]

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

(This is an alternative to the above)

Now what was Vader thinking when Emperor Palpatine was unleashing Force Lightning upon poor Luke as he cries out, “Father! Help me!”?

I think it would have been something like this:

He’s killing my son; my daughter’ll be next! When he said I killed Padme’ in my anger, he lied—he lied to me! … I may not save my son, but I have to protect my daughter!

If George Lucas wanted to put something in the Special Edition to reflect on Vader’s state of mind, he should have included Vader’s thoughts, something like the above, instead of the insipid “No-o-o! NO-O-o-o-o-o!” that he actually put in there, which was derivative of the most insipid part of the final scene in Revenge of the Sith.

On Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back.

In the Cantina in Star Wars.

Greedo:          … e leni ta crento oatka. Ta oaska! >That’s the idea. I’ve been looking   forward to this for a long time.<

Han:              Yeah. I’ll bet you have!

 [Han shoots poor Greedo before he has time to react. As he is frying, Han   walks out, tossing a hefty silver coin at the barkeep. The barkeep catches   it.]

Han:              Sorry about the mess.

Yes, I know this is the same as the scene as enacted in the 1977 Original.  But in 1997, what George Lucas went ahead and did was digitally reedit the scene so that Greedo shoots first. Greedo’s shot is directed so that he would miss hitting Han no matter what, but that wasn’t enough for George Lucas. He had Han’s whole upper body: torso, neck and head, tilt to the right (viewer’s left) in one jerky, neck-breaking movement, and then jerk back again. It looks like a department store dummy, and just stops the film right there. And in a perfect beat timing to Haddaway’sWhat is Love? . Of course this all reminds me of SNL’s sketch that inspired the film A Night at the Roxbury! (Tip o’ th’ hat to Hello Greedo on YouTube.) Newest Star Wars viewers are lucky in that in 2011 George Lucas hid this by cutting ten frames out of the action so that Greedo and Han fire almost at once. But those who saw the 1997 and 2004 versions had to suffer through this!

All things Yoda...

Okay, not all things that are about Yoda and are available on the internet. The vast quantity of those things has probably approached infinity. But all things in this blog article will be about Yoda.

And so we're off!

 True. Especially when someone swipes a photo of you as a young child.

But Yoda has learned wisdom over the years and so he doesn't let it consume him. But he is a bit particular when someone mentions his size.

And there was the time when Luke trained under him on the planet Atchafalaya 😉 in the Dagobah system. First was Luke's vision in the Cave of Death:

So Yoda knew Disney was going to take over Star Wars and fuck it up! Hence, The Force Awakens.

Then when Luke tried to lift his ship and couldn't do it (because he couldn't believe he could do it):

Then Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy showed up, and Luke proposed!

But enough about Luke, let's get to some wisdom, shall we?

He even has wisdom to those who rummage through other people's smart phones!

Of course, sometimes he's not the most tactful person...

Especially to trolls and buffoons, and most especially to trollfoons!

And if they don't like it? Here's his parting shot:

More Star Wars Scenes We'd Like to See.

This is a short photo essay.

Yoda knows!

Found off the web.

A little fun at Chewbacca's expense. 

A human-porcine relationship will never work.

Besides, she's already engaged.

But at least he's not dating his own sister! 😄

Star Wars The Force Awakens

Not too long ago I saw Star Wars The Force Awakens on a DVD. Basically it's a politically correct rehash of the original Star Wars and it really, really should have been different. And the GCI special effects are totally over the top, at some points they look like Disney cartoons. And the First Order should have been portrayed more subtly, not like some cartoon version of Nazi Germany. This was the only Star Wars flick that left me with a bitter taste in my mouth when I finished watching it, and I've seen them all, including Star Wars the Phantom Menace... and that one was a total ripoff.

Here's a half-hour video with a lot of criticisms of the film.

And here's a second criticism - a 5-hour long compilation of many critics panning the film as the worst Star Wars film ever.

Disney should have taken these criticisms into account when doing Star Wars The Last Jedi, coming out this Christmas. Instead, they're adding some of their own "imagineering" to it: when Rey goes into a cave, she sees Yoda appear to her as a spirit... only this time, he brings a lot of the Disney trademark magic spheres with him. Looks like I'll be staying away from the cinema for this one!

Star Wars Scenes We'd Like to See

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

(Tip o’ th’ hat to Art Bell)

Vader:          Join me, Luke!  Together we shall rule the Galaxy as father and son. It is your destiny.

Luke:            You said that the last time! Why don’t you join me so we can work together to restore freedom to the Galaxy?  You were chosen to do this.

Vader:          What do you mean, son?

Luke:            Search your feelings, Father. You know this to be true.

Palpatine:    Don’t go into the light. It’s a trick!

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

(Tip o’ th’ hat to How It ShouldHave Ended on YouTube)

[The Emperor is about to unleash Force Lightning upon Luke Skywalker.]

Vader:           [Butting in] You said I killed Padme’ in my anger! Yet she bore me twins!

Palpatine:     She lost the will to live—so it’s true from a certain point of view.

Vader:           You LIED to me! I’ll KILL you!!

[Vader tackles Palpatine and the two fly out of view. Luke looks at the camera and shrugs as Force Lightning runs across the scene behind him.]

On board the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi.

Now what was Vader thinking when Emperor Palpatine was unleashing Force Lightning upon poor Luke as he cries out, “Father! Help me!”?

I think it would have been something like this:

He’s killing my son; my daughter’ll be next! When he said I killed Padme’ in my anger, he lied—he lied to me! … I may not save my son, but I have to protect my daughter!

If George Lucas wanted to put something in the Special Edition to reflect on Vader’s state of mind, he should have included Vader’s thoughts, something like the above, instead of the insipid “No-o-o! NO-O-o-o-o-o!” that he actually put in there, which was derivative of the most insipid part of the final scene in Revenge of the Sith. (Did I tell you that the prequels suck? No? Well they do!)

In the Cantina in Star Wars.

Greedo:         … e leni ta crento oatka. Ta oaska! [Caption: That’s the idea. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.]

Han:             Yeah. I’ll bet you have!

[Han shoots poor Greedo before he has time to react. As he is frying, Han walks out, tossing a hefty silver coin at the barkeep. The barkeep catches it.]

Han:             Sorry about the mess.

Yes, I know this is the same as the scene as enacted in the 1977 Original.  But in 1997, what George Lucas went ahead and did was digitally reedit the scene so that Greedo shoots first. Greedo’s shot is directed so that he would miss hitting Han no matter what, but that wasn’t enough for George Lucas. He had Han’s whole upper body: torso, neck and head, tilt to the right (viewer’s left) in one jerky, neck-breaking movement, and then jerk back again. It looks like a department store dummy, and just stops the film right there. And in a perfect beat timing to Haddaway’sWhat is Love? . Of course this all reminds me of SNL’s sketch that inspired the film A Night at the Roxbury! (Tip o’ th’ hat to Hello Greedo on YouTube.) Newest Star Wars viewers are lucky in that in 2011 George Lucas hid this by cutting ten frames out of the action so that Greedo and Han fire almost at once. But those who saw the 1997 and 2004 versions had to suffer through this!

Star Wars Attack on New Jersey

Today is the twentieth anniversary of Star Wars: Attack on New Jersey. Twenty years ago today, the film opened to rave reviews and enthusiastic audiences, in forty-nine states. Needless to say, it bombed in New Jersey!

Set in 1977, the movie didn't fail to include our favorite Saturday Night Live advice correspondent, Roseanne Roseannadanna.

"A mister Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey, writes: 'Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna: I thought Star Wars was only a movie, that depicted events that occurred a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Now, starting a fes days ago, New Jersey has fallen under attack by UFO's. UFO's that look uncannily like the Galactic Empire's triangular Star Destroyers have been bombing us, while those that are the spitting image of their TIE Fighters have been strafing us! My question to you is: Where did they come from? Why are they here? How did they get here? And why can't our US military stop them?'

"Mister Feder, you ask a lot of STUPID QUESTIONS, even for a guy from New Jersey!"

E. T. on the Dark Side?

Remember that small midget extraterrestrial E.T. from that piece of dreck that Spielberg made of the same name?

Well there are some things you might not know about him! A major "oops" in the film department. Or Spielberg got onto Lucas' shit list.

From Cracked.com: [brackets, formatting and captions mine]

E.T. is a Sith Lord!

E.T. is the charming story of an alien who looks like your grandfather's swollen testicle arriving on a hostile alien planet and refusing to wear pants while hanging out with a small child. But, at least he was harmless, right? Yeah, except for the little fact that he was a goddamn Sith Lord.

Why It's Not That Crazy:

We know members of E.T.'s species exist in the Star Wars universe because we see them in the Galactic Senate during Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, assuming you can bring yourself to watch it again and have enough money in the scotch budget.

This is the Galactic Senate! Now put some bloody clothes on.

When E.T. sees a kid in a Yoda Halloween costume he gets excited, as if he recognizes Yoda from, say, the Senate (as to why a kid would be wearing a Yoda costume if Yoda was a real creature from another galaxy, we'll get to that in the next entry [concerning Han Solo and Indiana Jones—except this could be E.T.'s dream!]).

E.T.: I didn’t know Yoda could be found in a dreary subdivision filled with builders’ Stockbrokers’ Tudor houses.

“Home, home, home! Home, home, home!”

E.T.: It’s Yoda, all right…

https://9gag.com/gag/apqq76M/proof-that-et-is-a-sith-lord 

We also know that he has powers suspiciously similar to those displayed by Force users -- such as levitation ...

... and healing.

But, E.T. also demonstrates one power that goes way beyond what a goody two-shoes Jedi can do -- he brings a flower back from the dead and later revives himself.

Both a potted plant and E.T. himself are risen indeed!

Jedi can only kind of make like Casper and haunt their students, but [Chancellor Palpatine / Darth Sidious in] Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith told us that at least one Sith mastered death.

 https://9gag.com/gag/apqq76M/proof-that-et-is-a-sith-lord

So, E.T. is from the Star Wars universe and demonstrates a power that only the Sith have, making our conclusion foregone. He must be an extremely powerful Sith, too, albeit one that's [been] severely weakened by his time on Earth. You can leave it to yourself to determine what he was doing on our planet, but E.T. has a very different tone when you consider that, rather than helping a kindly lost spacefarer home, Elliot was actually helping a Sith Lord get back to murdering the galaxy.

Now we know what E. T. is really like!

https://9gag.com/gag/apqq76M/proof-that-et-is-a-sith-lord

Death Star, Death Trap!

I have one more thing to add: since the Death Star is the size of a small moon, and has docking bays open to outer space, how does the Empire keep the air from leaking out and escaping? You'll find the answer below.

Death Star = Death Trap

by Dan Vebber, in: Ted Edwards, The Unauthorized Star Wars Compendium, pp. 33-35, sidebars (formatting mine).

For all the yipping that Admiral Motti does about his station being the "ultimate power in the universe," certain aspects of the Death Star's construction leave a lot to be desired. Indeed, on several occasions the Death Star's sinister engineers seemingly designed things to be as dangerous as possible.

1 - THE SUPERLASER

Each of the superlaser's seven constituent beams shoots down a manned accelerator tunnel, causing anyone who might be standing next to these beams to shrink up against the wall and hope not to be disintegrated by a stray static charge. Each beam has at least enough power to destroy a planet one-seventh the size of Alderaan, so we can assume close-up exposure to any of them could lead to massive epidermal ionization, incurable melanoma, or at the very least, unwanted freckles. The superlaser accelerator tunnels probably have to be worker accessible -- and I'm not calling for removal of the catwalks along the beams' paths -- but couldn't they sufficiently warn the technicians before the thing was going to be fired so they could move out of harm's way? Would the installation of a few lousy warning lights really have cost that much more in the Emperor's grand scheme of things?

2 - DANGEROUS ALLOCATION OF UNWANTED GRAVITY

Any spherical battle station the size of a small moon would have its own gravity, wherein "down" would be directed toward the the station's center. But we can tell the Death Star uses artificial gravity generators, because "down" is always toward the station's "south pole." (Those Imperial boobs actually expend energy to defeat a core-oriented gravity situation that would have made more sense to begin with! Suckers!) Given that the station utilizes artificial gravity generators, why aren't they turned off or just plain not installed beneath the station's slew of virtually bottomless chasms? Countless stormtroopers (stormtroopers with families, I would remind you) would have lived to fight another day were their minor blaster wounds not followed by a plunge into oblivion.

3 - COMPLETE LACK OF SAFETY RAILS AROUND DEADLY CHASMS

Take docking bay 327, for example. There's a huge elevator shaft in the floor, in the middle of which is obviously a high-traffic area. And there's not so much as a Watch Your Step sign! Even more preposterous is the placement of controls for the tractor beam hundreds of feet up and surrounded only by a precarious six-inch-circular ledge.  Sure, this setup worked to the Empire's advantage at least once, significantly slowing down Obi-Wan's attempt to sabotage the controls, but I'll bet the ratio of Rebel sabotage incidents to legitimate tractor beam maintenance by certified technicians wasn't low enough to justify the risky panel placement.

4 - UNPREDICTABLE, GUILLOTINE-SPEED PRESSURE DOORS

Sure, they look cool, but how many stormtroopers have to whack their heads running into rooms before the Emperor takes notice? We saw it happen once, and we were privy to only an hour or so of Death Star footage. Imagine what goes on during those thousands of hours we didn't see! How many concussions have occurred? How many slow-moving saps have been cut in half by the doors as they sliced down into the floor with the efficiency of a galactic-scale French Revolution? It is my hope and dream that one day the Emperor's dark servants will form a union and work to correct these flagrant safety violations.


Oh, wait, I guess it's only a movie. *

The Very Worst Comic Book Serial in the World, for All Time

... is Marvel Comics' Star Wars, 1977 release, vols. 1 through 10. With vol. 11, they changed artists and the artwork was somewhat improved---but not by much.  At least it was neater.

But here, let me show you a few samples, reproduced in Marvel Comics' Star Wars: Skywalker Strikes.  At least in this reprint, they did a major recolorisation of the cover and the interior pages. In the original 1977 volume, the coloring was totally different, making the artwork appear even worse---and the volume and its nine successors look totally amateurish.

Recolorised version.

Original version.

Here, you'll notice that right off the bat, on the front cover of vol. 1, that their illustrated version of Luke Skywalker does not even look like Mark Hamill. Note the price: 30 cents, cheap! (MAD Magazine reference.)

And here the artwork within the original volume, the artwork was really, really bad. It's bad enough that everyone is portrayed as superheroic with superheroic proportions (even C3PO), but because everyone at Twentieth-Century Fox thought Star Wars was going to be a sure-fire flop, everyone in the cast and crew thought the whole thing was just ludicrous, and George Lucas himself though the film would only break even, Marvel Comics apparently assigned the comic book adaptation to their very worst and least capable artists, because it really shows! For example, in the lower left hand panel Luke Skywalker looks like a German soldier of Nazi propaganda.

And Princess Leia was made to look like a superheroine, too. She looks more like a Playboy Bunny (do they even exist anymore?) than like Carrie Fisher.

Now we are back with Luke Skywalker and appearing here is his uncle, Owen Lars, who does not at all look like the actor who played him, Phil Brown.  Neither does Luke Skywalker resemble Mark Hamill. Notice also that both Luke Skywalker and Owen Lars look different in each panel as compared to the others. And the sound effect for the breakdown of the R2D5 "Red" unit? It the movie it doesn't go "SPROING!" when the unit breaks down, it goes, "BANG! BADANG!!"

And this is the scene where Luke is cleaning up the two droids. The artwork makes the garage appear completely dark, not dimly lit as in the movie.  And again, Luke Skywalker looks totally different from panel to panel, and not like Mark Hamill in a single one of them.

Well there you have it... a big fat Star Wars ripoff from 1977. But today, the surviving copies are collectors' items.

Star Wars Ripoffs

"My fellow Americans, I have a dream."

Star Wars The Phantom Menace.

Gungan people's underwater city: The Deep.

Undersea biped predator: Godzilla.

Statue in Coruscant conference room: The Exorcist (opening scene).

Statue in Anakin Skywalker's Room: E.T.

The Whole Plot: (the original) Star Wars A New Hope.

Galactic Republic: The Roman Republic.

Naboo Architecture: Greek, Roman, Byzantine, Renaissance, Baroque, Neoclassical and even Westminster Abbey.

Naboo Sculpture: Greek, Roman, Renaissance, Baroque, Neoclassical and Impressionistic (one statue after Auguste Rodin).

The fact that Anakin Skywalker has no father: how Jesus was conceived in Matthew and Luke.

The very name "Skywalker": the Acsension of Christ in Luke and Acts. Jesus Skywalker!

Anakin's Nickname "Ani": Little Orphan Annie.

Anakin's departure from his mum: a similar scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (although Charlie comes back).

Trade Federation costumes: Mediaeval outfits of the Roman Catholic Church and of Catholic scholars.

Speeder Race on Tatooine: Chariot Race in Ben-Hur (hat tip to Bill Miessner).

Battle between Gungan forces and the Droid army: old westerns' battles between Union forces/cowboys and Indians.

Anakin's good shooting: Annie Get Your Gun.


Star Wars Attack of the Clones.

Title ==> Send in the Clones ==> Send in the Clowns. Yes?

Crawler reference to several thousand systems threatening to secede, basically the whole premise of the movie: The War Between the States.

Crawler reference to "The Army of the Republic" and the chancellor's call for "a Grand Army of the Republic" at 1:35 into the film: The Grand Army of the Republic.

Grand Army of the Republic Hall
in Scituate, Mass.

Coruscant city scenes: Metropolis.

Metropolis. 

C3PO (also in the original Star Wars): Robot in Metropolis, Dr. Smith from Lost in Space.

The Robot in Metropolis.

Romance between Padme Amidalya and Anakin Skywalker: Romeo and Juliet

Diner in Coruscant city: so many 80's 50's diners.

Coruscant City Jedi Library: The Boston Athaeneum.

Coruscant City Jedi Library.

The Boston Athenaeum.

The rainy ocean planet Kamino, clone factory public relations persons: Close Encounters.

Kamino, circles in factory reception room: crop circles!

Kamino, clone foetus gestation area: Brave New World (the novel, not the movie).

Kamino, flying bird: Jurassic Park, pterodactyl.

Trade Federation planet Geonosis, entering the factory complex, where the walls come alive: The Matrix.

Geonosis, attempted execution scene: Roman ludi (games), specifically exposing to wild animals and the bestiarii (condemned persons fighting wild animals).


Star Wars Revenge of the Sith.

There are fewer ripoffs I can remember considering this is a very sad, moving film. But here goes:

This movie appears to be a reprise and foreshadowing of The Empire Strikes Back.

The Clone Wars: The War Between the States.

The parachute droids: the gremlins in Gremilns.

The falling of General Grievious's ship to Coruscant: Titanic.

The chancellor's powers: emergency powers appropriated by Abraham Lincoln during The War Between the States. Also in Attack of the Clones.

The falling weight at General Grievious's hideout: Monty Python karate sketch 16 Tons.

Handover of a lightsaber to Obi-Wan Kenobi: handover of Gen. Robert E. Lee's lost Special Order 191 to a Union Officer, who forwarded it to Gen. George B. McClellan in the War Between the States.

Chancellor's address to the Senate announcing the transformation of the Galactic Republic into the Galactic Empire is delivered in a very cartoonish manner. Before this Palpatine was presented as a very slick politician. The more cartoonish evil is presented as, the more unbelievable the film--in my estimation.

Yoda throwing the Emperor: Spaceballs, Dark Helmet being thrown by the braking from Ludicrous Speed to sublight speed.

Emperor's winged ship: Batman (the comic and the movie), how the protagonist descends.

Failing to credit Global Warming for the much cloudier and more active atmosphere of Tatooine at the end of this prequel. This next to last scene even had thunderstorms on the far-off horizon.


Star Wars Rogue One.

This is a insert between George Lucas's prequels and the original trilogy.  Lucky for us, Disney, who bought Lucasfilm before this was produced, did not completely overdo it. Other plusses are the bittersweet ending and the diversity of humans in this movie, something Lucas overlooked almost entirely.

Jedi Holy City on the moon of Jeddah: Mecca. The city itself is very Middle Eastern in its look and feel.

Splinter group off the Rebel Alliance on Jedha, which I called Jedisis: any modern real-life insurgent group, or any one from antiquity such as the Judaean people's fronts (hat tip to Monty Python's Life of Brian) described by Josephus in his Jewish Wars.

Jedi religion itself: alternatively Islam in its holy city and Bhuddism in the oriental  blind spiritual warrior Chirrut Îmwe's "I am with the Force and the Force is with me."


Star Wars a New Hope.

Originally it wasn't called "A New Hope", just Star Wars. This is the one that made the rest possible! 😊 It's a lot better than it might have been, considering the scenes that ended up on the cutting room floor (the editors got an Academy Award for this). Yet George Lucas decided to change things in it and add things to it.

Genre: Flash Gordon.

C3PO: robot in Metropolis and Dr. Smith from Lost in Space.

Jawas: Munchkins (Wizard of Oz).

Luke Skywalker's line "teleport me off this rock": Star Trek, USS Enterprise transporter room and its teleportation device .

Need I say more?

Leia held captive by Darth Vader / Governor Tarkin: Dorothy being held by the Wicked Witch of the West (Wizard of Oz), and many other stories with damsels in distress.

The Death Star: looks awfully similar to a Panasonic Ball Radio.

The sets, especially those featuring the advanced technology, look very Irwin Allen-ish. But they actually expected this to be a sure-fire flop, and not a smashing film. Hence the budget which Lucas had to top off with his own money.

Cantina scene when Han Solo shoots Greedo: George Lucas took it upon himself to change the scene in a digital re-edit so that Greedo shoots first, for no reason. In the 1977 original version, Han shoots Greedo in a surprise move, which establishes his character: what sort of person we're dealing with. The way Lucas aimed the blaster bolt, Greedo would have missed point-blank range without Han moving a muscle. But to make double sure Greedo misses, Lucas has Han Solo jerk his whole upper body--torso, neck and head--further out of the way like a department store dummy would. The torso jerk was completely unnecessary to the do-over, it reminded me of SNL's sketch for Haddaway's What Is Love? which inspired A Night at the Roxbury, All this re-edit to to Greedo being shot was totally unnecessary (tip o' the' hat to Hello Greedo) . RIP-OFF!


Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back.

This is another sad, sad movie, and the first sad Star Wars movie. 😢  As such it is also the best rated movie of the whole bunch (Phantom Menace being the worst). I think the real test of an excellent movie maker are his sad movies, not just or necessarily those with a happy ending.

Bespin Cloud City, whole: The city of Boston shown in the albums of the rock group BOSTON, The Emerald City from the Wizard of Oz.

Bespin Cloud City, Millenium Falcon landing platform gate: Airport terminals designed in the Art Deco style. Example: Shushan Airport, New Orleans, La.

Bespin Cloud City, interior rooms and corridors: European Art Nouveau architecture, specifically the work of Victor Horta. (In my opinion the windows in the 1997 enhancements were a necessary addition.)

Shots of the Emperor: in the original, the Emperor could have been anybody. In the 2004 do-overs, this anybody was replaced with the visage of the actor who played Palpatine in the prequels (also done in Return).


Star Wars Return of the Jedi.

Okay, there are some serious ripoffs in here. Also some do-overs---some necessary, others completely and utterly unnecessary.

Tatooine, Jabba the Hutt's house: the set to Barbarella.

Tatooine, Jabba the Hutt's only friend Ephant Mon: The Elephant Man.

Ephant Mon

Tatooine, Jabba the Hutt's hookah: Barabarella, "We're smokin' a man!"

Tatooine, girl group entertaining Jabba the Hutt: Pointer Sisters? This is from the "improved" 1997 version.

Tatooine, evil midget gremlin that laughs a lot: Gremlins, Sesame Street, The Muppet Show (it's that obvious!).

Yoda's line, "Night Must Fall" Title of the play and movie of the same name.

Shots of the Emperor: same as Empire. In addition, the insane expression is the same as in Revenge and even the yellow color of his eyes in the scene where he proceeds to kill Luke by electrocution are exactly the same as in the scene of Revenge when he tried to kill Mace Windu the same way.  Yes, I know they used the same actor for this one as they did for

Speeder chase: Chariot race in Ben-Hur, auto race in Grease (the movie).

Ewoks: teddy bears. Did someone have an unmet need in the merchandising department??? They copuld have used African Americans but that would have been too "frightening" for Whites and too racist for Blacks.

Luke's line "like my father before me": from the lyrics, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.
Spirit of Anakin Skywalker in the 2004 do-over of the 1997 "improved" version: The Portrait of Dorian Gray. The original with Sebastian Shaw as the middle-aged Anakin Skywalker was perfectly fine--people don't have their looks remain the same as they age. Yet for some reason Hayden Christiansen was substituted instead. Fool and knave, George Lucas! Keep the scene the way it was and don't change it! The four city celebration scenes (Bespin Cloud City, Tatooine Mos Eisley, Coruscant Metropolis, Naboo Capital City): They weren't there originally and were totally unnecessary for the plot.


Star Wars The Force Awakens.

The ripoffs to this film basically revolve around the utter cartoonishness of the evilly evil evildoers of evil, otherwise known as "The First Order" which, according to the plot, arose from "the ashes of the Empire." This cartoonishness George Lucas almost completely restrained himself from indulging in until Revenge, which at least gave his (pre-Disney) films plus Rogue One a sense of plausibility. But Americans generally are a Manichaean lot, believing ourselves individually and collectively to be good and our opponents evil no matter how bad we act (ex's.: Sherman's March to the Sea, Sand Creek Massacre) or how graciously and virtuously our opponents act.

But a major character---Han Solo---is killed off and the ending is bittersweet so we know this film does have some redeeming qualities.

Subplot revolving around the Starkiller: A New Hope, Death Star subplot. And how this Starkiller destroys planets when compared to how the Death Star destroyed them is totally over the top, even for a nine-part movie mythos where objects with mass travel faster than the speed of light... as does light itself.

The First Order: Nazi Germany, the only cartoonishly evil power of real-life in our parents and grandparents' time. Its visible leader himself is a ripoff of Adolf Hitler, himself cartoonish and far too real.

Kylo Ren: ripoff of Darth Vader---and although Ren displays powers Vader could only dream of, Ren is still not as powerful as Vader ever was.

Supreme Leader: Emperor Palpatine, and The Wizard of Oz himself. I expect that in a future episode Rey will expose the real Supreme Leader, who will then cause his larger-than-life version to bellow, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! The great and powerful Supreme Leader has spoken."

Which means Rey is Dorothy Gale from Kansas!


Star Wars The Last Jedi.

This has yet to be released, yet already Disney has polluted this film with its imagineering: when Rey goes into a dark, watery cave like into a flotation tank, Yoda appears, bringing a thousand balls of light with him.  This never happened with the appearing spirits in the old Star Wars films, why should they start now?


Anyway, that's my short list of Star Wars ripoffs. Mind you, I like Star Wars, even love it, ripoffs and all (okay, I admit it--I didn't and still don't like Phantom Menace). Star Wars is the defining myth of our time, tailor-made for the Russian soul-- that nation is going to become the next great civilisation according to Oswald Spengler, if global warming doesn't get us all first--and a collection of great works of art.  And George Lucas, by his actions, has treated it as just a bunch of movies to be changed at will and Disney has turned it into just another Disney children's film franchise.